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June 7th 1922
The Baltimore Sun
Former Ouija Editor Wonders About Jumbo
He Fails to Reveal Whether Druid Hill Park Zoo Will Ever Have Elephant
Into the Evening Sun office there wandered, shortly before noon today, an odd-looking creature with shaggy hair and straggly beard. He resembled nothing quite so much as an animated floor mop. Under one arm he clutched an oblong board. He looked furtively about, as though fearful someone would snatch it from him.
With one accord the solemn-visaged editorial personages looked up to see who the intruder must be. With another accord they groaned loudly. With a third accord they yelled “Put him out.”
It was the one time Ouija Editor.
“Be not overhasty,” he remarked. “A couple of years ago I had a steady job here, even as you.” Then came prohibition, and I was too weak to withstand temptation. I haven't had a steady job since. I haven’t been able to keep steady myself.”
“Don’t steady yourself here,” growled some unkind editor. It might have beer, any of them. They’re all like that.
“What brought you here anyway?” inquired another.
“I thought,” said the Ouija Editor humbly, “you might want me to tell you whether the ouija board is a game or punishment and put one over on the Supreme Court. You read the papers now and then, I suppose and know the court has declined to venture a guess?”
“I’ll bite,” groaned the City Editor resignedly.
“That wouldn't be fair,” objected the Jungle Editor. “No biting or kicking allowed. Hit him with your fists like a man.”
“Maybe,” suggested Ouija Editor “you’d rather know whether there will ever be an elephant in the Druid Hill Zoo.”
“You’re dern whistling we would.” exclaimed the Jungle Editor with a sudden kindling of interest. “There isn’t anything we want to know more so.”
“Well,” remarked the Ouija Editor, edging toward the door, “so would I.”